Our IVF Journey

God carried us through every bit of the last six years of infertility, from every negative pregnancy test, disappointing appointment, financial hurdle (where He always provided), endometriosis surgery, low egg count, a biochemical pregnancy, to our final embryo that would be the one we had waited for all these years, every high and low. We grew deeper in our faith and learned to trust in His timing and plan for our lives, understanding that it may not include being able to have kids. God has been present in every step of our IVF journey, and we never doubted that.

When Chad and I first got married in 2013, we initially thought we would wait a year before trying to start a family. That quickly turned into three years. Little did we know it would take us over five years once we started trying at the end of 2016. After months of trying, my doctor decided to have us try some oral medications to increase our chances of getting pregnant. I did multiple rounds of these medications in 2017 and 2018. With still no success, we were referred to a fertility clinic to have some testing done to rule out anything that may be causing a problem for us. Some of the testing included blood work, an HSG (to check my uterus and fallopian tubes), and a sperm analysis. Everything came back normal.

In February of 2019, we did one last round of oral medications. With this cycle, my gynecologist had me go off dairy and stay away from cats since I was lactose intolerant and have slight allergies to cats, theorizing that my body could be seeing these as things it needed to fight, and in turn, could be attacking other foreign things entering my body, like sperm. To be honest this seemed rather far-fetched, but we gave it a shot. After we had no success with oral medications through my regular doctor, we switched over to the fertility clinic for help.

In 2019, we did four rounds of IUI (intrauterine insemination). The first cycle, they warned us that my lining was too thin but ultimately let me decide whether or not to move forward. Knowing our chances weren’t great, I was ready to move forward after having done all those shots, that I would have never thought I could do. (I’ve always been very uneasy around blood and needles, but you’ll be surprised by what you can do when the occasion arises.) The second cycle, we had four sizable eggs, so they were hesitant to let me move forward but let us. Again, I had already made it this far and didn’t want to cancel the cycle now. Later, we questioned our decision with the potential of having four fertilized eggs, especially since I am so small. Being pregnant with just one seems like more than enough for my body. I may have joked that I wouldn’t survive pregnancy with four, and Chad would be left to raise them on his own. The stress got to Chad, and he ended up with shingles. (I think we were both ok that that cycle didn’t work.) The third round went really well in comparison to the first two. No dose changes and fewer hormone level checks since everything progressed just as they wanted. We had just gotten back from Italy before this round started, and if I had it my way, we would go back before each cycle since clearly it helped. Even though I did not get pregnant, we attempted IUI one more time before going to IVF since the third cycle had gone so well.

The decision to do IVF was not as easy for us as it was for the previous fertility treatments and involved much more prayer. Our struggle wasn’t so much related to going through the process and the financial cost, while those were also more burdensome, but did this line up with our beliefs, or were we trying to take things into our own hands and play God? Eventually, we came to a place where we felt we could move forward, but we felt the genetic testing piece, which is optional, was where it went too far for us. We aren’t against having it done, but regardless of the outcome, a fertilized egg is life to us, and we would give every one of them a chance.

After four unsuccessful IUI cycles, we started IVF in January 2020, but it got canceled seven days into taking the shots. At a routine ultrasound, they saw evidence of endometriosis that may have flared up from the increased doses of hormones. I have never had any of the symptoms of endometriosis or an official diagnosis, but it was noted in my records as a possibility after some ultrasounds in 2013. I had surgery in March that went very smoothly and with no pain, besides some slight discomfort from the gas they had put in me during surgery. Luckily I got the surgery in right before COVID started spreading and shutting things down in the US. We planned to try for a few months on our own before trying IVF again. Endometriosis is known to cause fertility issues, so we hoped that our odds of getting pregnant had improved after the surgery. Unfortunately, it took three months before my cycle came back. It could have just been the result of having surgery, running, my diet, or maybe a combination of these factors. I decided to give up running for a while to see if that would help, and the next month, my cycle came back. (I was used to running 5-13 miles multiple times a week.) We tried on our own in June and July. In August, my doctor let me come in for a mid-cycle ultrasound to check that everything looked normal since my surgery. My lining was thicker than some of my cycles on meds at 10 mm. I also had a sizable egg in my right ovary, so they sent me home with a trigger shot (which causes you to ovulate 36 hours later) to take that night. Unfortunately, we still didn’t get pregnant, so in September, we tried again with a mid-cycle ultrasound and trigger shot. With no success, our doctor advised us to try IVF again.

We started IVF for the second time in November 2020. We made it through this round but only ended up with five eggs. On average women will have 15-20 eggs. Naturally, some eggs don’t make it a day or two after the retrieval, and after fertilization, the number continues to decrease to maybe five embryos. Only 1 of our five eggs fertilized. The morning of our scheduled transfer, we got a call that the only egg that appeared to have fertilized had not fully developed to where the embryologist would like it to be for a transfer. Our options were to move forward or wait a few days to see how it progressed, but we wouldn’t be able to do a fresh transfer. We opted not to do the transfer that day, and the egg did progress and was frozen. In January of 2021, we did a frozen embryo transfer (FET). Everything went well, but unfortunately, the pregnancy test came back negative. Before starting our third round of IVF, in March of 2021, my doctor had me start taking CoQ10, DHEA, and Myoinositol. I also had another HSG.

When I called to order my medications this time, the prices were much higher. We had apparently maxed out our $50K lifetime fertility insurance coverage. We would now be paying completely out of pocket. I was given quotes of $9k each for just two of my meds and didn’t think we could move forward with another round of IVF. After a few days and many phone calls, I found more affordable prices through a different pharmacy. We were fortunate to learn that Chad’s company would also help pay for some of our IVF expenses. It was a relief once I had my medications ordered, but the next hiccup was a snowstorm that hit Texas and other parts of the US, causing shipping delays. My meds that were supposed to be overnighted, were delayed, and no one could tell us where they were or when they were coming. They ended up arriving five days late. Luckily, the meds that have to be refrigerated are supposed to be ok in the shipping packaging for seven days, I didn’t find this out till after they arrived, and we were able to start this round a little delayed without issue.

At my first ultrasound, about four and a half days into my injections, my uterine lining was thin, and they only measured two tiny follicles. I wasn’t sure if there were more that were just too small to measure. I didn’t even think to ask. All I could think was this was continuing not to go well. And when I got my estrogen blood work, they barely got enough blood (my veins are small, especially early in the morning), but I ended up bleeding through the gauze by the time I was leaving. All of this, on top of waiting an hour and a half past my scheduled appointment time had me leaving in tears. I e-mailed my doctor and asked if we should cancel the cycle so we wouldn’t waste the meds, but she advised that we continue, reminding me that I am often slow to respond. I usually would go in for an ultrasound and blood work every few days, but they didn’t want me to come back for five days this time. I was very discouraged and didn’t think this cycle was going anywhere. I had heard through a friend of a friend who was going through IVF at the same time that their doctor advised them not to exercise more than going for a walk during the process, so for the first time through all of this, I stopped working out except for going on walks.

At my next appointment, the news was so much better. They were able to measure five or so follicles, and they said other smaller ones could potentially catch up and that my lining was looking good. Most women only need 8-12 days of injections, but since I am slower to respond, I did 14 days. At my retrieval, we got five eggs. The following morning, we received a call that four had fertilized, which was great news compared to the last time. Two days later, we received another call that one was on track, two were a day or day and a half behind, and one had progressed faster than they would like, but they would continue to watch all of them. At my fresh transfer, the doctor said the one egg that was on track was considered an early blastocyst, so it wasn’t where they would like for it to be at this point, but that it had all the components of a successful egg and that hopefully it would continue to progress once transferred. The other three eggs did not make it. They were considered cellular. The transfer went well, and I was able to Facetime Chad. Due to Covid, he could not go in with me. My pregnancy test, ten days after my transfer, was negative. Again.

We started our 4th round of IVF in June, and the plan was for me to do 15 days of meds this time, which meant we would miss our opportunity for a fresh transfer, but hopefully maximize the number of eggs we could get. At the egg retrieval, we got 13 eggs, eight fertilized, and four of those ended up making it and were frozen! When we got the call that we had four embryos, they told us we had a 3BB, 5BA, 4BA, and 4CB. The first three had about a 65% chance, and the lowest on the grading scale had a 50% chance. We didn’t even realize they graded our embryos until now. (On this call, we found out that our very first embryo from our second round of IVF was a day seven 4BC, and the embryo from our 3rd round of IVF was an early blast that hadn’t expanded to be able to be graded, from our understanding.) The first embryo from this round of IVF resulted in a negative pregnancy test.

Before moving forward, our doctor discussed some extra testing with us that wasn't necessarily standard procedure for IVF. I had an ERA (Endometrial Receptivity Analysis), Receptiva Test, Endometrial Bacterial Analysis, and some additional blood work given to women with miscarriages to see if I was lacking antibodies that can lessen the chances of implantation. I was ERA receptive, and my levels were slightly off for a blood clotting marker, so my doctor had me add Lovenox injections to see if they would help.

Our 4th FET was in January of 2022, and I actually got the call that I was pregnant, but several days later, at my next appointment, my HCG was not increasing as it should. I went in for more blood work a few days later, and my numbers continued to decrease. My doctor said, unfortunately, that it was a biochemical pregnancy. The embryo implanted but didn’t make it. This news was heartbreaking. But as hard as it was to be told I was pregnant after over five years of trying and losing it, there was hope, knowing I could get pregnant.

Until now, we had only ever discussed transferring one embryo at a time because I am so small, and pregnancies with multiples are higher risk. For the first time, my doctor asked if we wanted to transfer two embryos, our last two, and I considered it to try and increase our chances, cut costs, and not have to prep for another FET. When it came time, we only transferred one. I think remembering the round of IUI with four eggs had us a little nervous.

Normally I would drink around 32 oz of water 1 hour before my transfer to help the doctor to be able to see everything clearly on the ultrasound. They thought I might be dehydrated from the meds I was on, so they had me drink several additional cups once I was there. After 80 oz of water, I left this transfer very drowsy. I couldn't keep my eyes open on the way home. This transfer resulted in yet another negative pregnancy test.

Our last embryo was the lowest on the grading scale, so we had little hope for success. I was already trying to figure out how we could try one last round of IVF.

In preparation for our next FET, I was supposed to be on the meds for an extra week this time to get my lining thick enough, but my lining ended up being ready without the extra week. This worked out since the original date for our pregnancy test would have fallen while on our Mediterranean cruise. We would have had to take an at-home pregnancy test (which usually is not advised) to determine whether or not to continue my injections. (I had two injections a day and estrogen patches to keep up with while cruising the Mediterranean! I have taken injections in airport bathrooms, random European bathrooms, dirt lots off the side of the highway, Walmart parking lots, while second-shooting weddings, and camping. When it is time, it is time, no matter where you are.) I got the call on May 12, 2022, while at work that I was pregnant! I was in disbelief, excited, and yet nervous that the same thing would happen as the last time I got a positive pregnancy test. I had to wait all day to tell Chad, who was at work, and then going to Drive Shack for a late birthday celebration. I made a quick cookie cake to tell him the news when he got home.

My numbers continued to look good at appointments, but it was hard to fight the idea that we could still lose this pregnancy. On the way home from our cruise, during a layover at the New York airport, I had a bit of spotting and feared the worst. Our first ultrasound was the very next morning. Thinking we would likely receive bad news, we instead were shown our little embryo on the screen and heard and saw our little baby's heartbeat!

We got to see him again at an 8-week ultrasound, and this was our last appointment at Carolina Conceptions, which was bittersweet. I had been going there regularly for almost four years and loved my doctor. We wished she could have continued with us through pregnancy.

Everything with my pregnancy continued to go well. I experienced tiredness during the first trimester, but that was really the only thing other than some very light heartburn near the end of pregnancy. At my first OB visit, they were kind enough to let us have another ultrasound knowing what all we had gone through to get to this point, which we were so appreciative of, and helped ease our anxiety in those early weeks when miscarriage rates are higher. We found out the gender early, from blood work, instead of waiting for the 20-week ultrasound, knowing that picking a name would be difficult for us. (We didn’t end up deciding his name until the day we left the hospital to take him home!) The 20-week ultrasound went well, and everything was still looking great! Since this was an IVF pregnancy, we got an extra in-depth ultrasound. This ultrasound ended up being scheduled a little later in the pregnancy than usual, which made seeing everything they were looking for more difficult. Because of how he was positioned, they couldn’t tell where the cord was inserted into the placenta, which led to some concern and the scheduling of another ultrasound. Of course, this had me worried, especially since the doctor who had called me kept emphasizing how they wanted to look at it further, and the news came when Chad was out of town. Multiple physicians/doctors told us shortly after that this can happen, and not even be known until birth, so there was no need to be overly concerned. And the fact that he was growing just fine was even more reason not to be worried. And luckily, at the next ultrasound, we were told his cord was where it should be.

I absolutely loved being pregnant, which my mom had said about her pregnancies, and I always thought she was crazy. You usually hear about terrible nausea, heartburn, discomfort, etc., but luckily I didn’t experience any of that. It was truly, an amazing experience, especially once you start feeling them move. I enjoyed pregnancy so much that I started missing it before it was over. Cade was already a world traveler before he was ever born. At five weeks, he went to the Mediterranean, and at 27 weeks, he went to France and Germany for our last overseas trip for the foreseeable future.

At 39 weeks, they called to schedule my induction for January 12th (I wasn’t allowed to go past my due date because it was an IVF pregnancy), but I asked to push it out to his due date to give him as much time to come on his own. And that he did. He arrived nine days early on January 10th, 2023!

To be continued...